Social Studies

Factors that lead to a failed marriage

Olawunmi Omosanya - Mon, 15th April, 2019 @ 19:50: PM

Causes of failed Marriages:

Often times, we hear about failed marriages on the internet, social media, television and radio. When certain factors (which I will write about in this article) are prevalent in a marriage, then there is likelihood of a potential divorce or separation in such marriage.

Note: Divorce and separation are not the same thing.

A divorce is the legal termination of marriage by a competent body. It is also called the dissolution of marriage

A separation in marriage or marital separation is said to occur when the husband live apart from his wife because the marriage isn’t just working for some reasons. Some will argue that it’s a step towards reconciliation

A marriage is said to be a failed marriage when the relationship between the husband and wife fades away to an extent that the relationship cannot be restored.

 

Below are some of the factors or reasons that had lead to failed marriages:

 

  • Money

I agree with the fact that love is the backbone of every marriage. Money is very good when properly used, but believe it or not, it has a key part to play in most failed marriages. Every marriage has its own financial obligation, for instance house rent, food, school fees and payment of bills. Whenever the husband channels this money to selfish acts like drunkenness, gambling, ponzi schemes and womanizing, it’s only a matter of time before such marriage collapses. Also when a woman discovers in marriage that her husband lied about his financial capability prior to their marriage, she may say no to such marriage.

 

  • Your Child or Children

Children are the joy of every marriage. A man must understand his role to his wife and his children (same for the woman). When a woman gives most or all her attention, time, energy and care to her children at the expense of her husband, such a woman is passively creating a division in the family. Always remember that marriage is meant to be an act of unification and not division. Every woman should be wise as to loving her husband as well as the children simultaneously without any unhealthy overlap.

 

  • Infatuation

Some people think they are in love but in reality, they are not. In infatuation, people act out of the figment of their own imagination. I have once heard from a guy (who believed to be in love) say “I love this lady because she’s fair in complexion”. Such love confessions may actually be an act of infatuation. The truth is; fairness can be criteria to loving a person but love goes beyond fairness. Love is skin deep. Some couples who got married as a result of infatuation are likely to end up saying “we are not just made for each other”.

 

  • Third Party

Some third parties, for instance, your marriage counselor, pastor, mother-in-law and father-in-law can be very beneficial to your marriage and can even save your marriage in times of crisis. Unfortunately, some of these who are supposed to mend the cracks in a marriage are now the destroyers of such marriages. Also, taking advice and counsels from some so-called friends and native doctors has led to many marriage breakups.

 

  • Nagging

According to the holy book, it is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. A home can never be in peace as long as one of the partners is a nagging type. The virtues of patience, tolerance and perseverance are tested through this provocative act; but as we know, there is a limit to human endurance. As time goes on, the relationship gradually fades away until such marriage eventually crashes.

 

  • Believing you can change your spouse in marriage

Some persons will argue that it worked for them. My candid advice is “Don’t go into a marriage believing you will change your spouse inside such marriage.” There is this saying that you can force a horse to the river but you cannot force the horse to drink the water from the river. If you cannot change your spouse before marriage, then the probability of changing him during marriage is even much lower. So many marriages had failed because of this unwise act.

 

  • Pride

Pride is considered the deadliest of sins and it goes before a fall. Some of the core factors in a successful marriage are humility and forgiveness. Marriage cannot exist without forgiveness. If the couples (or one of the marriage partners) are full of pride, then I can tell you that such marriage will not last long. Pride is a capital sin that gives birth to various other sins including lies, hate, revenge, anger, insults, and so on. A marriage that has all of these vices will definitely crash.

 

  • Sex

Do you know that sex enhancement drugs generates lots of sale for those who market them? The reason is not farfetched because it is crucial to marriage. In fact, some will tell you that marriage is consummated in sex. Failure to deal with problems regarding sexual frequency and quality will gradually lead to unfaithfulness, infidelity and other immoral acts. Unfaithfulness is a catalyst to failed marriages.


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